March 8, 2010

A Real Runner

I had someone recently tell me that a real runner doesn't need music in order to run. That a real runner can just run. I'd like to know just what a real runner is, then. I've been running now for a year. Granted, it's just a year and to many runners, I'm still a beginner. But I don't care and I won't listen to them or to that negativity. To me, I'm a runner. Yes, I have multiple running playlists on my ipod that I update often. Yes, I sometimes make the mistake of running while wearing a cotton T-shirt. Yes, I still cannot run a marathon, nor can I win a 5K and yes, I still get tired and sweaty and want to give up.

But, I don't.

And to me, I'm a real runner. And you know, that's all that really matters.
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Welcome to Head Over Heels!

Like many 20-something women, I woke up one morning exasperated. It seemed like every day I would find a new passion, a new dream, and get excited about yet another project, just to find that they would all crash and burn. I wanted something that I could control and that would be all mine.

Because our 20s are a time of exploration and discovery, it's very hard to find that path that directs us exactly to our dreams, especially because our dreams have the habit of evolving overnight. I had worn myself into a tizzy of exhaustion, disappointment, and an overwhelming sense of having no control over my own life. And that's when I went for that first run.

Two minutes later, I arrived back at my apartment steps, panting. As long and as torturous as those two minutes felt, they also gave me a sense of liberation, a feeling that had been severely lacking in my life. The next day, pathetically still sore, I again put on my sneakers. Three minutes, yes! This routine was repeated daily throughout the summer and now, I'm a half-marathoner! My ultimate goal, a marathon, still looms in the distant future, but the even bigger goal is one I can actively work on every day: learning to gain control over my own life and learning to fall in love with myself one step at a time.