April 28, 2010

worrying the run

I went for an amazing 5 mile run on Sunday with my stepmom! I was all nervous before the run because 5 miles can be intimidating, but I did it and I felt so great at the end that I wanted to run another mile or two. My stepmom told me my problem isn't physical; it's entirely mental. I "worry the run" too much, and she is entirely right. I think of everything, ever, that could possibly hold me back during the run and I end up being a big ball of nerves the entire time and not being able to relax and enjoy it. I need to learn to stop letting my mind control the run and learn to just enjoy it. Because running IS enjoyable once you're out there and get into your groove. Sure, everyone has "off" days, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

What is it about society that makes us emphasize the negatives so much more than the positives? Why do we always stress and worry and focus on the things that aren't going well, than on the things that we're excelling at? Shouldn't we be spending more time celebrating our accomplishments than beating ourselves up about our setbacks? I feel like we'd all be a lot happier, and a lot more confident, if we allowed ourselves to be excited about accomplishing our goals, and even the smaller tasks.

Take this morning, for example. I woke up at 5:40 all excited to go on a 4 mile run. And then as my mind started waking up more, I immediately found myself talking myself out of going running. I realized I was telling myself that 4 miles was too far to do, even though I ran a really strong 5 miles two days ago. At that point, I told myself to shut up. In record time, I got dressed and went out the door and had an amazing 4 mile run. I've discovered that the more time I spend thinking about, or "worrying," the run, the more negative I feel. I can run! Why do I try to convince myself otherwise? No more negativity (yes, I'm aware how often I write that). As a whole, we have to STOP telling ourselves no and instead, realize that we truly are capable of amazing things. Start celebrating your accomplishments and focus on what makes you happy and proud of yourself. Hopefully this new attitude change will not only get you out on the pavement, but will also get your negativity out there, too. We're all amazing, so be amazing to yourself :)
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Welcome to Head Over Heels!

Like many 20-something women, I woke up one morning exasperated. It seemed like every day I would find a new passion, a new dream, and get excited about yet another project, just to find that they would all crash and burn. I wanted something that I could control and that would be all mine.

Because our 20s are a time of exploration and discovery, it's very hard to find that path that directs us exactly to our dreams, especially because our dreams have the habit of evolving overnight. I had worn myself into a tizzy of exhaustion, disappointment, and an overwhelming sense of having no control over my own life. And that's when I went for that first run.

Two minutes later, I arrived back at my apartment steps, panting. As long and as torturous as those two minutes felt, they also gave me a sense of liberation, a feeling that had been severely lacking in my life. The next day, pathetically still sore, I again put on my sneakers. Three minutes, yes! This routine was repeated daily throughout the summer and now, I'm a half-marathoner! My ultimate goal, a marathon, still looms in the distant future, but the even bigger goal is one I can actively work on every day: learning to gain control over my own life and learning to fall in love with myself one step at a time.