June 17, 2010

Runners High

Yesterday, per usual, I was procrastinating my run. I told myself I would just do three miles, instead of the six I had decided on earlier. But, even those three seemed daunting. I started going through all the normal excuses, telling myself three miles was super impressive and I should be super excited if I could go out and do that. And then it hit me; my half marathon is a week and a half away. If I'm at the point where three miles is an achievement, how am I ever going to run 13.1 in about a week?? Not happening. So, I tuned my brain out, swallowed some Power Bar Gel Blasts (you have to try them! They're so good.) and headed out the door. The first three miles were beyond tough. I've discovered though that if I can get my body (and mostly my brain) through the first three miles, the rest is easy.

The first three miles hurt. I felt slow and cumbersome and every part of my body decided to cramp up all at the same time. But then something changed around mile four. My cramps disappeared and my pace became fluid and natural. I stopped thinking about the run and just ran. I was able to stop focusing on my breath (and breathing) and just melt into the the pavement and the experience. I ended up running eight miles! By the time I got home, I was actually kind of disappointed; I wanted to keep going!

I've heard about runners getting these fantastic runners' highs where they feel invincible and as if they could run forever. I've experienced smaller doses of this said high, but last night was unlike anything else. I truly just became a part of the run and my body stopped feeling tired, it basically stopped feeling anything at all. I was truly convinced I could have easily done another eight miles (but it's important to not overdo it all at once).

That was by far the best runner's high I've ever experienced and the most amazing feeling eight miles. I needed that run. Now I cannot wait till race day!
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Welcome to Head Over Heels!

Like many 20-something women, I woke up one morning exasperated. It seemed like every day I would find a new passion, a new dream, and get excited about yet another project, just to find that they would all crash and burn. I wanted something that I could control and that would be all mine.

Because our 20s are a time of exploration and discovery, it's very hard to find that path that directs us exactly to our dreams, especially because our dreams have the habit of evolving overnight. I had worn myself into a tizzy of exhaustion, disappointment, and an overwhelming sense of having no control over my own life. And that's when I went for that first run.

Two minutes later, I arrived back at my apartment steps, panting. As long and as torturous as those two minutes felt, they also gave me a sense of liberation, a feeling that had been severely lacking in my life. The next day, pathetically still sore, I again put on my sneakers. Three minutes, yes! This routine was repeated daily throughout the summer and now, I'm a half-marathoner! My ultimate goal, a marathon, still looms in the distant future, but the even bigger goal is one I can actively work on every day: learning to gain control over my own life and learning to fall in love with myself one step at a time.