Happy Birthday, Sole Mate!

I just wanted to quickly write a happy birthday message to my running partner, Cat. She's my sole mate, 25% of the Racing Team, and incredibly good friend. Without her, I wouldn't be a better runner or a better person. She also just completed her first triathlon! I know 25 is going to be an even better year for dominating every race/goal she sets out to tackle.

I love you, Cat :)

Runaway Bridesmaid

It's officially wedding season! My weekend was spent celebrating the upcoming nuptials of close friends and while I am absolutely thrilled to be a part of such joyous occasions, there is one part I could do without: the eating. It's this unwritten rule that there needs to be a smorgasbord of food at every bridal celebration. The bridesmaids snack on cheese and crackers while bonding, champagne is downed by the bottle, and don't forget about the cupcakes, heart shaped cookies, and three-tiered cake. If you're anything like me, you love to eat. And snacking is almost mindless. You don't realize the damage you've caused until you're heading home after an all-day bridal shower. You feel bloated, at best.

This morning, I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt like my body had turned into everything I had eaten throughout the weekend, all of which insisted on staying put and not running. But, common sense won out and I begrudgingly headed out for a four mile jog. I was expecting to hear my stomach grumbling over the sound of Akon in my ears, but much to my surprise, my stomach didn't even whisper. It felt great to run! I felt like I was working off everything I had allowed myself to indulge in, and the guilt literally melted away. I'm not saying that I can eat insurmountable amounts of frosting every weekend as long as I hit the pavement after, I'm just saying that it's all right to be indulgent. Because after all, this is the season of I do.

smile

I'm just going to be honest. I had the shittiest run ever this morning. I mean, I was massively struggling. I decided to do my favorite six mile loop, and everything was going great until I hit mile three. And because it was a loop, I couldn't just turn around and magically be home. No matter what I did, I was still three miles away and had to get home somehow. I debated walking. Now, I know there's absolutely nothing wrong with needing to take a quick walking break during a run, especially during a physically draining run; however, I was determined not to walk. In my depleted state, I had annoyingly convinced myself that walking symbolized failure and the only way home was to run; even if it destroyed me, which it nearly did.

I didn't look pretty at mile three. Granted, not many people do three miles into a run, nor should that ever really be a primary concern, but I feel like it's an important piece to the story. I was dripping in sweat, probably grunting, and most definitely swearing under my breath. Misery consumed me three miles in.

I made it to mile four and started having an inner argument with myself:

Hannah1: there's no shame in walking, you know.

Hannah2: suck it up!

Hannah1: but I want to go to bed. It's 5:30 in the morning.

Hannah2: suck it up!

That continued for about another mile or so, and somehow I made it to mile five. At this point, I was not only physically exhausted, my brain was also throwing in the towel; it was fed up from arguing with itself and quite ready to give up on running, the day, and if it had any way, quite possibly give up on me, as well.

And then, something magical happened: I saw another runner. There was someone else up and actually running at 5:30 on this suppressingly muggy summer morning. As we approached each other, I noticed that she, too, looked miserable. Not just miserable. She looked how I imagined I looked, too: face distorted in pain, body fighting every step, sweat flying off of every limb.

We looked at each other, nodded, smiled, and then laughed. Instant camaraderie. In that moment, we were one. We shared the same struggle, battle, and ultimately, the same domination. Yes, it was a fleeting association, but it was enough to get me through that last mile. More than that, it was enough to make me want to get up tomorrow morning and repeat the whole process. Because when you really think about it, sometimes all you need to "suck it up" is a shared smile from a stranger.

Born to Run

I recently started reading Born to Run, after numerous recommendations and shocked responses of "What? You haven't read this book yet?!" Because I'm a MA Publishing & Writing student, I get wary when a book comes that highly recommended, but because I'm a runner who is also in constant need of motivation, I decided it was time to open the book. And wow, am I so glad I did! Granted, I'm only halfway through, but keep in mind I started this book less than 24 hours ago. I cannot put it down. I'm already bummed that there's only half the book left; it's so good that I wish it didn't have to end. It's one of those books. It's a MUST read. Born To Run had me so inspired that in the past 24 hours, I've run 12 miles, simply because when I wasn't reading, I had to be running (minus the time spent at work/internship/and the few hours sleeping).

During my run last night I kept thinking about the book, and about this one quotation in particular that the author, Christopher McDougall, had cited: ""Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be running."

With that quotation fixed in my brain, my run felt effortless. I felt like I was floating around the Charles, and like I could run forever.

Final word: READ THIS BOOK!!! http://www.chrismcdougall.com/

Boston Marathon

It's been awhile since my last post, I know. I know. I've been meaning to write. That sounds like such a cheesy line an ex-lover would say when you awkwardly bump into them on the street: "I've been meaning to call you..." uncomfortable silence. Except there's no ex to blame the writing hiatus on. Only me. I've been running. I even ran my first 5 mile race on April 3, which is a major deal, considering I've been injured since October. But, I did it. And then my favorite day of the year (well, top three, anyway) just happened: Marathon Monday. The entire city of Boston basically shuts down and is taken over by runners decked out in every bright shade of rainbow. It's like someone got on a skyscraper and poured a giant skittles bag over the entire city. It's intoxicating.

Also, it's beyond inspiring. Especially this year. I spent the Sunday before MM with my step-mom; we volunteered the day before and then went to the Expo together. Being around thousands of excited runners gives you this charge of energy that's unlike any other rush. You literally want to run forever. The actual MM day I spent with my friend Alex. I woke her up bright and early and took her out for her first ever 4 mile jog. It was wonderful being able to share in someone else's "I did that" elation. I've been there many times and feeling proud in yourself is a feeling that'll never get old, I'm sure. After our run, and coffee reward, we watched the entire 26.2 elite race on her TV in Beacon Hill, and I cried like a baby when the world record was won. And watching the women sprint to the finish.

And of course, I cried watching Kara Goucher come in top-5. She's one of the most amazing runners. Watching her just gives me chills. I told myself I'd qualify for Boston, somehow, for next year. I'll be 25 and it'll be the 116th Boston Marathon (16 being my favorite number). I'm not sure if it's at all possible, especially since it hasn't even been a week and my confidence is already dissipating. But deep down, I am determined. I'll find a way. There's something about running that has my heart. Maybe because it requires a consistent effort on my part. It's essentially entirely up to me. There's something so liberating, and terrifying, in knowing that. But this year, I'm set on letting the liberating aspect win over the terrifying.

And knowing that, I know I can do it.

I did that

I just got back to my desk from my lunch break. I'll be more specific. I just got back to my desk from the gym, where I ran a 5k on the treadmill. The machine I've been terrified to even walk by ever since I got injured back in October from over-use. I woke up this morning really frustrated. I procrastinated and didn't go to the gym, even though I got up at 5:30 and had enough time to go. I got to work and my gym-going friend, Giselle, said she wasn't going to make it to the gym with me today. "Okay," I said, "I don't really have to go." And that's true, I didn't have to go. But a small part of me wanted to. That small part of me felt ready to test my knee. "Just one mile," my stepmom cautioned. "Don't push it." But I felt ready. I felt scared, but I felt ready. After changing into my gym clothes, I entered the gym, willing my body to head straight to the treadmills, not letting myself even glace toward the more body-friendly elliptical. With a sigh, and perhaps a deathwish, I started to run. One mile later, I felt more confidant. Two miles later, I was smiling. 3 miles in, I was giggling to myself. The "I can do this" attitude adjusted to the new "I did that" attitude. Granted, it was a 5k which is nothing compared to the 1/2 marathon I did this past summer. Well, at least not distance-wise. But mentally, it's the same. Getting over that hill, getting to that finish line, learning to find the confidence within yourself, that all comes from the same place, no matter the distance, no matter if it's at the gym, outside, or in a race. Sometimes the biggest reward is just proving yourself right; sometimes it's just saying "I did that."

I'm coming for you, Lance

I haven't been able to run consistently since October due to my annoying bout of "runner's knee;" but that hasn't stopped me from trying other forms of cardio. I recently went to a spinning class with my parents and followed it up with a run through snow covered hills. While I discovered running through snow on a bum knee isn't the most fun in the world, spinning is incredibly wonderful. I absolutely fell in love with the class and have actively been looking for a spinning class near my apartment. There was something so supportive about working out in a class-setting where enthusiastic shouts were encouraged while you're being told to pretend you're racing Lance Armstrong through a night club, on a bike. It's encouraging, it's motivating, it's an awesome sweat-inducing good time. Biking in general has become a great amount of fun for me, lately. This weekend I biked 44 miles, split between two days, and this morning I did a 15 mile bike/hill workout before heading into work. While at heart I will forever be a runner, cross-training has made me a stronger runner, a better runner, and a happier runner. And hey, now I have the best of both worlds!

The Upside to Injury

Over Thanksgiving break I discovered the problem to why my knee has been bothering me so much lately: I have chondromalacia. Or, in simpler terms, "runner's knee." I'm supposed to be taking it easy on the running, and doing a lot more stationary bike workouts and yoga, to strengthen and loosen my muscles around the knee, giving it a rest. But, I am allowed to run once or twice a week, if my knee isn't hurting that badly. Today was my running day. It didn't matter that it's the week before finals or that I've been working overtime or that it was 34 degrees this morning when I woke up at 5:45. Nothing was going to keep me from my running day. I told myself I wasn't going to push myself and just run an easy 5k. But, once I was out there, I couldn't stop. I was singing along to my music, I was saying hello to every runner I saw, I was smiling at everyone and everything. At one point I even started laughing. I probably looked insane, but I couldn't help it. I was in love with running this morning! While I know being injured is never fun, it's helped me to really love running again. I don't get to run that much lately, so when I finally get to my running day, I'm wanting it. I'm craving it. I'm needing it. The upside to being injured is that you stop taking your body, and your sport, for granted. You learn a new respect for both, and in turn, once you heal, you have a new-found respect, desire and devotion to both running and yourself.

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I love to eat, and I really, really love to eat Thanksgiving food. My dad is an absolutely incredible cook, so the massive feast he prepares for today is simply outstanding. Last year my stepmom and I participated in a Turkey Trot 5k road race, but today we're making up our own tradition. Instead of joining the masses and running in a race, we're heading to the trails behind the house, with the dogs, for our own leisurely run. I absolutely love running with my stepmom and the dogs (or the "racing team," as we've dubbed our group). There's no music, or roads, or crowds. It's just us and our four-footed friends, running through beautiful woods, and talking. It's the only time where it's just the two of us, and through running together, we've formed a bond that's unlike any other we've had previously. We've become the other's confidant, therapist, comedian, and friend. Today, I give thanks for my stepmom, Michelle. She gave me the confidence to run, the desire to keep going, and the companionship on the trails. She's entirely changed my life for the better, and I couldn't be luckier than to have her in my life.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and remember to give thanks to those special people in your life.

Overcoming Obstacles

I was watching one of my favorite shows the other day, and there was this fantastic line that really stuck with me: "Life is going to kick you down more times than you can count. Don't kick yourself down." This past month has been really hard for me, personally. It's basically been one big month of suck. But, through it all and feeling at my lowest, I was determined to not let life entirely drag me down. I threw myself even more into work and school, oftentimes being out of the house for 16 hours a day. I worked weekends, I applied (and got!) a part-time internship. But what really kept me feeling mostly okay, was running.
Getting up at 5:30am after going to bed at 1am isn't fun. And it's even less fun to go run outside, or walk to the gym, in 30 degree weather. But once I'm running, everything else stops existing. I can be free from heartbreak and stress and anxiety every day, even if just for a 5k. And that attitude, that freedom, stays with me longer and longer as the days go by. I'm not yet getting through an entire day without feeling life trying to kick me down, but I'm getting there. Life may be really, really hard at times and be determined to kick me down to my lowest of lows, but I have the choice to go down or not. I have the ability to keep going, to keep my head up, and to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Because, really, that's how I'm going to make myself okay. If you just keep moving, eventually everything will all make sense again. And running supplies that; the more you realize that you have the ability to overcome physical obstacles, you realize you have the ability to overcome emotional obstacles, as well.

Gloucester 7 Miler

Yesterday, my friend, stepmom and I all ran in the Gloucester 7 Miler race. It was the most beautiful course I've run on yet; right along the beach and throughout the absolutely adorable and picturesque town. I've been worked up (obviously) about the race for the past week or two because I've been having trouble lately getting past 2-3 miles. After a lot of advice, I believe I might be lactose intolerant. So, while this is slightly depressing considering my love affair with cheese, it was also really positive; I avoided all dairy 24 hours before the race and was able to do the 7 miles sans problems. Well, minus the normal wear and tear :)

The three of us did really well in the race! My stepmom said she even "took it slow" so she could look at the course. Granted, for her, taking it slow was running 6:50's and coming in second in her age group. Did I mention that the world record holder for the female 10k ran this race? And won, naturally. They flew in some of the fastest Kenyans to participate in this inaugural event. It was so exciting, being able to run the same course as these world class athletes. My dad made an excellent point: "Running is the only sport where the professional athletes compete with everyone else." You don't see Red Sox fans allowed on the field to play along with the pros. It's true. Running is a sport for everyone, because everyone and anyone can do it. It was extremely inspirational to see these world record holders crossing the same finish line as you, albeit even if they did it in half the time ;)

Hiatus from Blogging

So I've been majorly slacking lately. Not on running, but on writing about running. I wrote constantly before the 1/2 marathon, it was a motivating force to get me through those long and exhausting training runs. But after I crossed that finish line (!!!), I stopped writing. Maybe I needed a break from the long runs and the writing, but nevertheless, I'm back now.

My solemate/running partner, Cat, and I have a 7-mile race coming up in a week and a half. I've been running M-F with one of my coworkers ever since the 1/2 Marathon, and I set my PR in a 5 mile race a few weeks ago. Cat and I haven't really gone running much since our 1/2 Marathon in the end of June, but that's changing tonight. We're going to go back to Castle Island and go running and then get our traditional ice cream together. We're determined to continue our "training runs and ice cream," even if we're not really training for a specific race. Sometimes all you need is your solemate, ice cream, and an open road.

Boston 1/2 Marathon

IS TODAY!!! this is it, folks. This morning, I'm a runner. But around 8:30am, I'll forever be a 1/2 marathoner.

13.1. Because I can!

13.1 Boston Playlist (probably more music than I need)

1. OMG - Usher
2. Alejandro - Lady Gaga
3. Shut It Down - Pitbull
4. Bulletproof - La Roux
5. Hotel Room Service - Pitbull
6. Dynamite - Taio Cruz
7. If I Knew Then - Backstreet Boys
8. Balla Baby - Chingy
9. Break Your Heart - Taio Cruz
10. Take It Off - Ke$ha
11. Don't Stop Believin' - Glee
12. 13:44 Moth Short Story
13. Straight Through My Heart - Backstreet Boys
14. Tik Tok - Ke$ha
15. Fire - Joe Budden & Busta Rhymes
16. Starstrukk - 3O5!3
17. Replay - Iyaz
18. Take You There - Sean Kingston
19. Empire State of Mind - Jay Z & Alicia Keys
20. Take Me Back - Taio Cruz
21. Beautiful - Akon
22. Keep You Much Longer - Akon
23. Memories - David Guetta
24. 21:11 Moth Short Story
25. Bigger - Backstreet Boys
26. Hit the Floor - Twista & Pitbull
27. Right Round - Flo Rida
28. Troublemaker - Akon
29. Top of the World - Pussycat Dolls
30. Bye Bye Love - Backstreet Boys
31. Solo - Iyaz
32. Fire Burning - Sean Kingston
33. Eenie Meenie - Sean & Justin Bieber
34. All of Your Life - Backstreet Boys

52cents

Cat and I went running last night for our last long run before Sunday, aka 1/2 Marathon day, aka death. We ended up doing a very strong 7 miles. After the run, I admittedly had a slight mental freak-out that she unfortunately had to witness. 13.1 miles is a lot. And because I've never run that before, and I already have issues with "worrying the run," I'm worried about Sunday. A lot.

Cat and I talked through our horrible anxieties about the upcoming race on our way to get our ice cream reward. While sitting on the trunk of her car, we decided we were going to do another 1/2 marathon this fall together. Even though minutes earlier we had both been hot messes of stress about this race on Sunday, we still wanted to run more of them. That made me smile so much, because I realized the anxiety and the stress and the freak-outs were normal and expected, but that the desire to keep going was not.

That moment sitting on her car I realized something: we're runners. And on Sunday, we're going to do 13.1 because we can and because we want to. We both have that in us, and no one can ever take that away. I'm so lucky to have her in my life, because while she'll always be there when I mentally fall apart before a race, more importantly she'll also be there when I cross the finish line. Friends like that are few and far between, and I know that if we cross that finish line together, or miles apart, we'll both be the other's cheerleader for the entire 13.1 miles. If that isn't the perfect friendship, I don't know what is.

Rewards Taste So Sweet

So this is it...in 4 days I will be on the starting line (and hopefully eventually on the finish line). My friend / training partner, Cat, and I are going on our last long run together before the race. Well, 6-7 miles. We don't want to overdo it, but we also don't want to feel too weak come race day. Cat and I have learned an amazing running lesson: The best thing about running is the reward you give yourself when you finish. So, after every long run we do, we go get ourselves a reward. Our reward is always ice cream, simply because there's nothing better after a long run in the summertime. Being able to sit on the hood of a car or a park bench or a beach and truly enjoy a cold, sweet, delicious ice cream is the greatest experience.

I cannot wait for our run tonight! I know we'll power through it and I know we'll feel even more prepared and excited for race day, and I know we'll be thinking about that scrumptious reward the entire run. Or, at least I will. I have no problem admitting that these days I run to eat ice cream. Hey, at least I'm running :)

Castle Island

I had a horrible run over the weekend, which sucked because I was so excited about my 8 mile run I had done just a day or two before. My body just felt like it was shutting down, and 3 miles in I was just destroyed. It was a big mental setback for me, and I've been in this negative mindset about my half marathon ever since.

And then my friend Cat and I decided to go running last night. We decided to go run around Castle Island right at sunset. Castle Island is this gorgeous 2 mile loop around a bay with boardwalks and excellent people watching, right on the beach. We agreed to do the loop twice for a quick 4 mile run. And by quick, I mean quick. Cat and I are both doing the half marathon together this coming Sunday, and we've been training for it now together for months. She is a much faster runner than I am, but it evens out because I am faster on the hills (our half marathon course is super hilly, so our strides even out).

Last night I was able to keep up with her for the first 2.5 miles, which is impressive. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that pace for another 1.5, but I did push myself to run much faster than I normally do. Running, full out running, around Castle Island is really fun. You feel free and like everyone is watching you as you sprint by. It was a big rush for me, personally, and when I got back to the car after my final loop, I felt fantastic; I felt like I could run another loop around the Island.

Cat's great like that. She pushes me and challenges me in many different ways. Running really is a love-hate relationship, but it's so much easier to stay with the love aspect of it when you find someone to run with. Cat truly is my running buddy, and I couldn't be happier to be going through this experience with her. I know Sunday might feel like a death march, but I know we're going to make it fun. We're going to do 13.1 because we can, and when it's over, there's no else I'd rather exchange a huge sweaty hug with.

Runners High

Yesterday, per usual, I was procrastinating my run. I told myself I would just do three miles, instead of the six I had decided on earlier. But, even those three seemed daunting. I started going through all the normal excuses, telling myself three miles was super impressive and I should be super excited if I could go out and do that. And then it hit me; my half marathon is a week and a half away. If I'm at the point where three miles is an achievement, how am I ever going to run 13.1 in about a week?? Not happening. So, I tuned my brain out, swallowed some Power Bar Gel Blasts (you have to try them! They're so good.) and headed out the door. The first three miles were beyond tough. I've discovered though that if I can get my body (and mostly my brain) through the first three miles, the rest is easy.

The first three miles hurt. I felt slow and cumbersome and every part of my body decided to cramp up all at the same time. But then something changed around mile four. My cramps disappeared and my pace became fluid and natural. I stopped thinking about the run and just ran. I was able to stop focusing on my breath (and breathing) and just melt into the the pavement and the experience. I ended up running eight miles! By the time I got home, I was actually kind of disappointed; I wanted to keep going!

I've heard about runners getting these fantastic runners' highs where they feel invincible and as if they could run forever. I've experienced smaller doses of this said high, but last night was unlike anything else. I truly just became a part of the run and my body stopped feeling tired, it basically stopped feeling anything at all. I was truly convinced I could have easily done another eight miles (but it's important to not overdo it all at once).

That was by far the best runner's high I've ever experienced and the most amazing feeling eight miles. I needed that run. Now I cannot wait till race day!

Morning Runs

I did not want to go running this morning. I didn't want to go so badly, that I was even procrastinating last night. I stayed up way too late watching horrible television that I was barely interested in. And then when I tired of that, I played about a dozen games of spider solitaire. I love to read and there's this book that I haven't been able to put down lately, and I didn't touch it last night because reading late at night makes me want to go to sleep. That's how badly I didn't want to go running this morning. But, I did. After a lot of grumbling.

It started out slow, as most of my runs do. I fiddled with my iPod, trying to find that perfect song that would try to get me out of my mental funk. I thought about ex boyfriends, trying to hash up some old anger that would fuel my steps into a faster pace. I stared in shop windows, willing myself to run longer so that I could look like all of the plastic mannequins. And then somewhere between all of the forcing, something just clicked. My pace came to me and my ex boyfriend thoughts disappeared (thank god) and I eased into a happy rhythm and let myself just enjoy the run. Four miles later, I came home happy. And that's really the best thing about running, you know? Discovering you don't run for a certain person or a certain reason; you run because you can.

Solemates

I recently got back from a week in Cancun and then a long weekend in NY. In total, I was off traveling for about two weeks, which didn't really bode well for my running schedule. I took too much time off, was jet lagged, exhausted, and hungover (what else do you expect from a week in Cancun?!), so it was no big surprise that my 12 mile run ended after only 4 miles. I was burnt out and felt incredibly out of shape. Also, my half marathon is in 23 days. I wasn't ready to quit, but I also wasn't ready to step it up. I didn't know what to do.

My friend that's running the half marathon with me knew exactly what to do. She told me she was going to run 7 miles on our race course last night. 7 intense, hilly miles. She asked me if I wanted to do it with her. Did I want to? No. Did I? Yes. Turns out, that was the best run I've ever had. Ever. It was fast and there's a good two-mile incline at the end of it, but I never felt better or stronger. We ended up sprinting the last few hundred yards, forcing the other to go faster and faster, racing to see who could tag the car first. At the end, we were breathless, giddy and so proud of ourselves and each other.

She believed in me. She wouldn't take no for an answer and she knew I was capable of doing those 7 miles, even when I didn't think I was. Not only was I able to do it, I kinda wanted to keep going. It was exhilarating, running in such a beautiful place. I wasn't expecting to enjoy that run, I wasn't even expecting to make it. But I loved it! Thank you, solemate. I cannot wait to have that much fun with you on race day!